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Flying the Sadistic Skies


via hyscience 

As if I needed one more reason to despise the airline industry.  Didja see this piece of INSANITY making the news rounds yesterday?  In response to skyrocketing fuel costs, some airline industry geniuses seem to think a viable solution is to start weighing passengers at the ticket counter and upcharging depending on their weight.

OK, let me get this straight.  You’re already demanding that I strip down to basically my skivvies at security and cram my clearly life-threatening hand creams and toothpaste into a ziploc bag. You have already told me I will pay extra for checked bags (am talking to YOU, American.) Your on-time statistics as an industry are appalling (Back to our penny-pinching friends at American, how’s this for a year-to-date track record?  According to the Department of Transportation, American’s average departure delay was 48 minutes, average arrival delay was 58 minutes, and nearly a third of total flights were delayed.)

Hmmm.  What would you do with an employee consistently unable to perform a third of their job function — indeed, the most critical third of their job function?  I wonder.

So with regard to the weight-based upcharge: oh, please let them try it.  PLEASE.  If they do, not only will I officially retire my frequent flyer wings (sorry non-NYC based clients — I love ya, but not enough to subject myself to THAT indignity) and sit back on my well-padded posterior, cackling with glee as the parade of civil rights lawsuits begins.

I used to think the most hideous PR job in the world would be representing Big Tobacco — not anymore.  Can you imagine managing crisis communications for an airline these days?  Does anyone think the airlines will redeem themselves in the hearts and minds of consumers anytime soon?

Uh, when pigs fly? 

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